All of us in the Ethiopian adoption process found out last week that the Ethiopian Ministry of Women's Affairs (MOWA) is going to start writing fewer letters for adoptive families.  These letters are necessary for an adoption to be completed- for families like us to have a court date and pass court.  They were writing about 50 letters a day and now they plan to write only 5 a day.  We don't know yet how long this will stay in effect.  We don't know if it is a political ploy to gain power or if it is a legitimate attempt to root out corruption.  Which does exist. 

We also don't know how this may affect our timeline.  It could certainly slow down the process for all of us.

This is the information we've received from AWAA:

As of today, MOWA has begun to write fewer recommendation letters each day for families in the court process. This is something we anticipate will continue over the next few weeks as the court, MOWA, and other entities meet to discuss MOWA’s desire to decrease the number of recommendation letters they write.   

We know many questions arise from difficult news, please be assured we will continue to inform you as further details unfold and will be in touch with your family directly as we have new information.


This news has caused quite a stir.  I have read a lot of interesting opinions and theories in the past few days and I wanted to share some of them here. 

Ethica on ethical adoption:
http://www.ethicanet.org/ethiopia-become-part-of-the-solution

Tom Davis:
http://blog.beliefnet.com/redletters/2011/03/ethiopia-adoption-cuts-rumors-human-rights.html

The Shubin Family Blog on Adoption Ethics:
http://thisshubinclan.blogspot.com/2011/03/adoption-ethics.html

The Farmer's Wife Tells All with Unsolicited Advice:
http://thefarmerswifetellsall.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-unsolicited-advice-to-all-adopting.html

Also, there is a petition that you can sign and spread.  This is a legitimate organization and petition (and you don't have to give your address).  
http://www.jointcouncil.org/joint-council-emergency-campaign-for-ethiopian-children/

The old flag featuring the Lion of Judah remains popular with the Rastafari movement and people loyal to Haile Selassie.

This flag was used under the Derg regime.

This is the flag of the People's Democratic Republic of Ethiopia.

Prior to 1996 (and to some extent even today) the 'plain' flag was commonly seen across the nation and the world.

Our diapers and covers are on the move.  Several families are taking them to Ethiopia this month and several families have already delivered them in February.  We have gotten hundreds of diapers and lots of covers to the orphanages that work with America World. 

This week we were also given the opportunity to send diapers to Uganda and those are already in the mail.  Sonrise Baby Home is in desperate need of cloth diapers.  See what they write here.  We are sending 100 diapers and 100 snapping, factory-made covers.  We are so thrilled that these diapers and covers are going to places where they are actually needed. 

We have one America World family willing to take 50 lbs of diapers and another willing to take 100 lbs.  That might actually use up our entire reserve!  That certainly doesn't mean we're finished though... we'll just have to find more so that we can keep sending them! 

We have also heard this week that there is another orphanage- Drawn from Water (see their video here) that is in need of formula.  Since formula is hard to find in-country we would love to have some actual canisters of formula to donate. 

If you are interested in helping us we would appreciate donations of cloth diapers and formula!  You can hand them to us directly or use our donate button and we can buy them for you.  We know so many families that are traveling soon, we can pass them on and have them in Ethiopia and in use this month! 

My surgery is scheduled for Wednesday April 6th with Dr. Freidman at the House Clinic in Los Angeles.  We will fly out Monday April 4th, have appointments on the 5th and surgery the morning of the 6th.  If all goes well we will be released to come home the weekend of April 16th, which is the exact day that we brought River home from Riley Children's Hospital three years ago. 

We are thrilled that Dr. Freidman will be performing my surgery.  After our first meeting with a surgeon in Indianapolis who told us that my face would "probably be fine, but he didn't want to say so and then jinx himself" we were a) terrified and b) determined to find a surgeon with some confidence that everything would be alright.

We have been praying that we would find such a surgeon and that the answer would be clear.  We researched and spoke with lots of former patients.  One name kept coming up and that was Dr. Freidman.  His patients really sing his praises.  We were planning to call to schedule surgery on Monday, so over the weekend I prayed that we would have some kind of confirmation that Dr. Freidman was the right choice.

I think that when anyone says a prayer they hope that the prayer will be answered, but this one was answers so quickly and so specifically that it was a little spooky.  While we were sleeping Sunday night I received this email from a total stranger in Canada:

Hi Brandy,
 I had my AN surgery 3 years ago at the HEI,
 I traveled from Canada to go to the BEST.
 I am a medical Professional and I researched surgeons along with my Colleagues and Dr. Freidman is your guys hands down.
 If you would like for me to get him in touch with you tomorrow I can do that. please just let me know what I can do to help you.
 I also have established a care team in LA from HEI former patients who would help with airport pick up and other care helps. Just let me know how we can be of help to you. We do this out of the goodness of our hearts, as we all have been there with AN surgery... please feel free to call me anytime.

I wrote her back Monday morning to say thank you and I would love to speak with him.  I told her that she had answered my prayer.  This is how she responded:

I went to bed last nite and said a prayer for you that God would clearly show you what you should do. Try to be at peace even though this is terribly stressful. Once you talk with Dr Friedman you will be so happy you did he is an excellent Dr. but also a very caring human being.

Not only did she tell me exactly what I wanted to hear, but she got Dr. Freidman to call me himself that same morning.  He called me before he was even at the office, just to "promise" that he would call me back in the afternoon.  He did call me in the afternoon and he told me that my chances of having a good outcome for my facial nerve is "exceedingly great." 

Needless to say, I was giddy.  It's funny how you can be so enthused to talk about your own brain surgery in the right circumstances.  I am so thrilled that Dr. Freidman is available and willing to do my surgery.  I feel so confident about his abilities.

None of this would have happened this week, if this total stranger hadn't taken the time to help me.  She could have read my post on the forum and kept on going about her evening.  But she took the time to write and tell me just what I needed to hear.  And then she went the extra step to make sure that the doctor contacted me himself.  She answered my prayer.  God's people doing His work.

If you have the chance to do something for someone, do it.  If you have some information that could help someone, or if you have something that someone else could use, share it.  Don't talk yourself out of it or tell yourself that it may not help.  You never know what kind of a difference you can make for another person. 

There is a small percentage of people, who when I tell that we’re adopting, seem to feel sorry for the fact that I am missing out on pregnancy.  It’s got me thinking about the difference between pregnancy and adoption.  Having been through one completely and the other half the way, I can honestly say that so far there is very little difference at all.  

I feel as much love and connection with our Ethiopian daughter as I did for River when we were expecting.  I have the same worries about her future and her health that I had for River.  I feel the same excitement and curiosity. 

Whether you conceive through biology or adoption, you typically leave your comfortable home for an unfamiliar place and before you leave, a stranger hands you a helpless baby, who is completely dependent on you. 

The only real difference is logistics.  Either way, a new family is created. 

For us, we met our first child in a hospital in Bloomington and the second we’ll meet in a transition home in Ethiopia.  Both will be met with the same amount of anticipation and love.  Both will become a part of our family forever.